Dear Body of Mine

Dear Body of Mine,

 I know that we are pregnant, but please try to be nicer to me. Today Michael turned 13 months old and he is all over the place as usual. He is a climbing, dancing, laughing machine. I love him, but his climbing up on things so he can get into things he shouldn't keeps me up and going all day. I constantly have to go after him and "save" him from whatever doom he may face, such as pulling something down on top of him, falling off the couch, or breaking the t.v. and getting in a lot of trouble. I try to tell him no, but he thinks it is a wonderful game and I have to get up to go after him anyway. So please, try not to make me feel so bad.

 I'm now in the second trimester of this pregnancy and in 3 days will be 13 weeks pregnant. Oh, oh my, scratch that I'll be 14 weeks pregnant. See? Look at what you are doing to me? This paragraph was going to be about how I still have morning sickness, but now I have to point out that you are making me lose my mind. I lost a whole week magically these last couple of days thinking that I was only 12 weeks pregnant and I'm already 13 weeks heading onto my 14th week. You know, you've been doing this kind of stuff to me a lot lately. I start talking about something and then I stop. I stop because I can't remember what I was saying, even though I just started saying it. How cruel is that? I mean I don't have the best memory to begin with and then you let my mind swim in this ocean of empty headedness? It's embarrassing really it is.

 Back to the morning sickness, I'm in second trimester now, can't you let up on the morning sickness? Yes, it's great that I don't throw up nearly as often, but you sent me throwing myself into the grass right outside of Mike's work while we were going to lunch. I hadn't been feeling hot all day, but that was also mean. Mike was on his lunch break and I was taking him out, yet you cut into his lunch time just so you could rid yourself of some amazing Mongolian BBQ that I'd had earlier that day and actually enjoyed. Even worse than that, despite the fact that I had drank soda (I know I know... soda isn't the best) you treated me like I hadn't had anything to drink all day and made it come up thick and chunky. Which you've done to me plenty of times before, but this time I believe you made me hurt my epiglottis. I even watched a video on how the epiglottis worked, because Mom thought I had burned my throat (which again, I had. Pretty badly too. Every time I swallowed it sent a shooting burning up from my throat all the way into the middle of my ears.) and suggested that I suck on some Tums to coat my throat and help the burning. Sadly it didn't help at all with the non-burning feeling. I called Lori and asked if she had any ideas and she was the one who suggested I stressed the epiglottis, only she said it in simpler terms for me. I ate cold ice cream and a popsicle to help take the swelling down in my throat and it only helped a smidgen.  Luckily it was better the next day.

 Still, I'm not happy at the way you have me feeling. I wake up feeling like crap most days. Warm, mushy and stinky. I'm usually so warm feeling and sick feeling that by the time Michael takes a nap all I want to do is sit and relax for a couple of minutes without feeling like I might hurl that I don't even take a shower. That of course makes me feel worse, especially when it's hot outside. I was sure I was going to break out in pimples before the wedding, but luckily you gave me enough of a break the other evening that I hopped in the shower while Mikey watched the Michael.

 Also, ever since I've got pregnant, you've been cruel to my nipples. They are constantly erect as though I'm out in the freezing cold. I barely touch them wrong and it sends me into spirals of pain, so when Michael tries to climb up me to get onto the couch and grabs for the thing that sticks out the furthest, he grabs my boob, and well, the nipples are where my boob sticks out the furthest. I have screamed in pain as he's grabbed me through my shirt and bra and felt bad for him not understanding why Mama (Ash as he calls me) is yelling. I also have to admit that I'm a bit afraid of when you'll make them start to lactate. Last time they started at 20 weeks, and well that only leaves me about 6 weeks of no nipple pads. Hopefully I won't be so stupid as to not wear them when I go out in public again like I did last time thinking that my boobs didn't leak that much. Then, while at Starbucks with Mike meeting a teacher about a project they were working on I leaked right through my bra and shirt and had to have Mike supply me with napkins while I hid behind my folder.

Oh, another tidbit about the morning sickness, I really don't like heaving when I'm brushing my teeth, or when changing Michael's diaper. Thanks.

 Randomly last night my legs, on the back part of my thighs were so tired and restless. I've had restless legs before, but usually in my calves, why oh why would you make that part of my leg restless? It was truly awful.

 Here we go with the memory again, I was going to write about something, and wa-la! I totally don't remember what I was going to write and all I did was press Enter twice on the keyboard to start a new paragraph.

Anyway, I try to be nice to you and please you by feeding you simple things. I try to feed you the things that you tell me sound good and that you won't revoke once I've put it into you. When Michael lays down for a nap and you are tired enough, I try to lay down so you can sleep and rest, and when we can't because Michael doesn't nap that day, or whatever reason, I try to lay down when Mike is home and can watch Michael. I keep you in cool environments so you don't get overheated, which makes me even sicker and I'll even run the AC if it's too hot for you. Why can't you be a little nicer to me? I'd appreciate it so much. I have so many chores that I need to do, and yet you prevent me from doing them. I mean, heck I almost vomited this morning when I was halfway done vacuuming our little living room. Again, please try to be nicer to me as I do my best to be nice to you?

Thank you for listening (I hope),
 Ash